Vincent, Do You Remember What You Said To Me?

"Vincent, do you remember what you said to me?" I am quite scare of hearing such a sentence when it comes from people whom I have analysed their Bazi before. I have a few cases when people suddenly ask me this because I have said something to them in the past.

I recalled an incident of a Taiwanese lady. She was one of my Taiwanese friend's friends who were invited over to his house when I was visiting on a holiday. They heard that I could do fortune telling and so wanted me to do some readings for them.

Since they were my Taiwanese friends, I didn't refuse and did the analysis on the spot. For such impromptus cases, I usually just said it out briefly without keeping a record of what I said. I thought it was just for fun.

Until, two years later she messaged me on the Facebook suddenly. As if she was one of those who wished to test on my memory, she asked me if I remembered what I said to her during the bazi reading session 2 years ago. I said no. I don't usually remember exactly what I said after I said it, and I don't make an effort to remember a person's bazi unless it is stored in my apps.

In any case, she went on to refresh my memory that I told her to pay more attention to her marriage as her marriage might have problem. Back then, she was happily married with a child. She wouldn't have thought otherwise but surprisingly she remembered my words.

And so, she was devestated when she found her husband having an affair and her husband wanted a divorce. Besides her heartache on her husband infidelity, she was more concerned about her child's well being. She asked me for advice.

Apparently, a divorce in Taiwan is really a clean divorce. Unlike in Singapore, couples have a 3 years separation period. I think it is good for the couples to cool down and seriously think about their marriage or to plan for their life after divorce. And I think they do not have a Woman's Charter to protect female spouse and children financially in such cases of failed marriage.

I look at her husband's chart, and it seemed if she could try to hold the marriage for one more year there could be improvement. Even if none, at least she could prepare herself during this one year emotionally and financially. As after her divorce, she would have to start working to feed herself and her child. Her daughter would be in her custody. Her life would change while she has to cope with working and looking after her young child.

Her husband was very insistent on the divorce. She was concerned that if she did not sign on the divorce paper, her husband would not want to visit their daugther anymore. I told her the one year period would be a trial period to see whether her husband would still care for her daughter or just an excuse to get them out of the house.

As much as I was advising her to hold on to the marriage, she told me in our next online session that she had signed on the paper. Her husband verbally agreed to visit the daugther on weekends if she signed on the paper to divorce. And so she feared if she did not sign on it, her daughter would not see her father anymore.

There was nothing much I could do since she already took her action and I wished her well.

The next time she messaged me, she was telling me how difficult she had to cope in waking up early to send her child to school, then she went on her work. After work, she had to fetch her and cook for her at home. While she was feeling drained physically, what anger her most was her husband back out of his words and did not visit her daughter as he promised. Infact, he was uncontactable after signing the paper.

I could only lend a listening ear as there wasn't much I could do for her. She made a decision in her life and she had to live with it.

We lost contact thereafter and I didn't follow up with her on her life anymore.

I just wondered what if she had hung on to her marriage, would her life be different or less miserable? Maybe it's really something she had to go through in her life, though there was someone who gave her advices.

Many times, I came across people who come to me for advices but actually that was not their real intention. They just want to talk to someone about their problems and they knew what decisions they would make.

One cannot expect that the geomancer is great and powerful to solve everything in your life. We are not Gods. We have our own problems to deal with too. I think sometimes people have to recognise that there are things in life that we can't change. If a person is ill, he/she has to go see a doctor. If your marriage fails, you have to look at what are the issues and improve on the relationship. When a person is dying, geomancer would not be able to revive him/her simply by placing some tailsman and chanting. If you have to let go, you have to let go.

There are cases when seeing a counsellor, a doctor, a lawyer may be more appropriate than seeing a fortune teller. If I can guarantee to change your life, I'll charge you by the hour and you save on the litigation hassle. But no fengshui Masters can guarantee that. So help yourself by finding the right help.

The Art of Strategies

The basic concept of dealing with aggression/ attack/ sha transcends between different Chinese arts.

In martial arts, there are general (3+1) categories of techniques:

Attack – punch, kick, thrust, push, throws, etc.

Defence – block, dodge, etc

Neutralise – acupressure points grip, immobilizing, joint locks, etc

Protect - And to wear protective armour, carry shields, to protect one-self. 

Similarly in Feng Shui, there are generally 4 categories of techniques to deal with Sha:

Attack: Cannon structure, triangle structure (fire) against round structure (metal), etc

Defence – use of walls, bi-folded screens, etc

Exhaust/ Neutalise – To use water fountain/wavy structure (Water) against round structure (metal).

Protect – Use of talisman, Qi Ling or Pi Xiu, etc. 

So when someone was to attack you, there are many ways to handle the situation instead of attacking the person.

In Taiji, there is a concept of ” 四量博千斤”- meaning to use minimal energy to convert your enemy’s energy and use it to your advantage.  For example, if a big guy is moving forward to attack you, you do not charge towards him or block him as you cannot handle his strength. Instead, you dodge, grab and push him in the direction he is moving, at the same time kick his leg (which is the Yin or the weak point). This will make him fall and his own body or energy will hurt himself. 

In Fengshui, there are similar concepts also. We often heard the words "冲起乐宫无价宝”- To clash into an auspicious palace is priceless. For example, facing a direct T-junction is often considered as no good. But if you know how to convert the negative sha to your advantage, you will find that there are actually businesses who are at T-junctions that are doing very well.

Similarly, in interpersonal relationship when someone provoke you. You don’t have to attack or confront the person. Instead you could draw the person closer to you to expose his weakness, or gather more information. Then you could convert him into your ally or turn the situation against him.

Theoretically, these all sound fantastic but one must stay calm, analyze the situation and apply the techniques to get your results. If all things fail, well the last of 36 strategies states "走为上策“  - RUN!